


Always blue

by whatthefudgever



Series: Jelix hell [2]
Category: Youtube RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blood and Injury, Boys Kissing, Graphic Description of Corpses, I swear it's not all angst, Jelix - Freeform, M/M, Septicpie, angsty Felix is so fun to write, bUT ITS LIGHT ANGST I SWEAR, it's really fluffy at the end, jelix hell
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-19
Updated: 2016-12-19
Packaged: 2018-09-09 21:50:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8914171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whatthefudgever/pseuds/whatthefudgever
Summary: Thinking back on it now, Felix truly appreciated the many hours of life 4 dead and Last of us their fans had requested of them to play on their respective gaming channels.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I am in too deep man. I'm such a sucker for zombie AU's, and every fandom needs one. I might seriously continue with this one and make it into a chaptered fic.  
> I wrote this mainly because my buddy Kai ( http://skai6.tumblr.com/ ) is such a sweetheart and he loves Jelix just as much as I do so, HOPE YOU LIKE THIS YOU NERD
> 
> I literally wrote this in between breaks at my job, so the grammar is prolly not all that great. 
> 
> I recommend listening to 'Strawbear - Keaton Henson' when reading this, as I get most of my inspiration from his songs.
> 
> EDITS: I'll definitely be making a full lengthy story out of this. Got a plot planned any everything, so look forward for more gay boyfriends smashing zombies together!

Felix’s world didn’t end with the apocalypse.

It ended when he’d lost Jack.

His _Seán._

They had managed to escape the city well enough—Felix having to sprint home from the store as soon as the riot started getting out of hand so that he could find Jack and get the heck out of there.  
  
The town had been thrown into a hysteric state of panic. People, who only moments earlier had been going on with their evening, were suddenly running and yelling -fighting and _killing_ -. There were people killing people, and then there were bodies standing and devouring those who'd killed them.

It was madness, and Felix had ran so fast and so frantically he'd almost passed the building to where he was supposed to be headed.

_Please let him be okay._

He'd found his boyfriend holed up in their apartment, a frying pan held bravely in front of him when Felix had managed to move the dresser away from the front of the door. It was a quick sense of relief that washed over Felix that assured him that he was okay, breathing and well.

They made preparations, packed and gathered all the preserved canned food they could find in their flat together with water filled bottles and some spare clothes.

Thinking back on it now, Felix truly appreciated the many hours of life 4 dead and Last of us their fans had requested of them to play on their respective gaming channels.

They had waited until it was dark to leave, then moved quietly through the streets so they could get out of the city. None of the major cities were safe anymore, and the duo knew they themselves wouldn’t be either for quite a while until the distant between them and said populated cities at least had a few miles that separated them.

Even outside the city it wasn’t entirely safe, to be honest. There was still the virus to avoid and those who had been affected by it, or even the rogue bands of survivors who would strip you of supplies with a gun pointing at your head and leave you for dead, but somehow they managed to avoid it all for several weeks and with minimal problems.

But Felix should've guessed that even their good luck couldn’t last forever.  
  
They’d taken refuge in a small house up north, thinking it was best to stay as far away from the city of Brighton as possible. They’d stayed there for one night already, both desperate for a short break from all the running and scavenging they'd done in the last couple of restless days and nights, and the small white house had seemed like the perfect spot for them to recuperate.

Felix had been on watch when it all happened. It had been his second shift of the night so it was nearing morning and he was struggling to stay awake, slumped forward over his knees as he blearily watched the horizon break to a comforting yellow behind the tree tops from the balcony.

It was only for a minute but when he jerked awake he could hear them -moans, groans and inhuman noises- sounding closer than he’d ever heard them since it had all broke out.  
  
“Shit.” He cursed and quickly dashed in to the abounded house where he found his boyfriend still sprawled out on a wear down couch, snoring softly.

“Jack,” he hissed as he stood, rushing towards the sleeping man to shake him awake before he started to shove their things into the bags. “We have to go, now.”

Jack had awoken quickly, far quicker than he ever once did before this all happened, and Felix had taken a second just to see those baby blue looking his way in absolute exhaustion.

They were still beautiful, Felix had thought. So beautiful but always so scared and frantic; always filled with terror.

Just one more thing that the horror had done to change them.

Felix prepared his weapon -slung his quiver over his back as he grabbed his bow- and tugged Jack to his feet who grabbed his machete by the corner table. They hadn't bother to speak; there would be time to talk about everything later.

At that moment there was nothing more important than getting out of there alive.

“Come on, there’s a hole in the back fence this way,” Jack had grunted, tugging Felix out the back door and along with him.  
  
Felix followed closely, -one arrow held ready as he looked around them carefully while they walked- heading towards the gate. The early morning dew, although still beautiful despite the tragic fate of the world, made the grass slippery and therefore both men threaded carefully across the lawn. Taking great caution of where to put their feet as falling would mean loosing focus, loosing their footing and undoubtedly attract the pack of the undead already headed their way.

They cleared the lawn to the backside of the house and were preparing to exit through the hole Jack mentioned, but what neither of them hadn't know was that there must have been another hole, and Felix had reacted just in time and pushed Jack forward through the hole -away from being grabbed by one of the zombies that had appeared seemingly out of nowhere-.

He was still reeling back whenever he saw them. Eyes clouded with yellow-ish pus that stared into nothingness and the rotten skin decomposing on the very walking body. The blood -oh god there was always so much blood -were a mixture of both coagulated brown and dripping red, and it almost smelled worse than its skin.

It was terrifying to think that something straight out from science fiction in fact wasn’t actually that science fiction anymore, but quite vivid and real.

Oh so horribly real.

“Run! Don’t look back and run! I’ll catch up!” Felix shouted at Jack, back turned to the white fence and eyes locked on the approaching target in front of him. He knew Jack would listen -knew that he would run to safety-. Jack was a good fighter, the most skilled to handle a knife just as big as his arm, but the qualities he lacked were agility and speed. You can't win against the undead by sheer force and strength, you'd have to be quick on your toes and always be moving, or else death was imminent.

Felix rather have his love breathing and well. Rather have him there by his side until as long as he could possibly have him.  
  
He grabbed an arrow, aimed straight and shot the walking corpse through the skull right between the eyes. Months of training had paid off, he figured.

He didn’t get to celebrate his little victory for long though, he never did. Instead he had quickly headed back in towards the house, skillfully avoiding and maneuvering past the many dead that already roamed the yard. He would take another exit out before looping around to catch up to Jack.

He never managed to.

By the time he broke away from the undead that had surrounded the house it was much later, and Jack was nowhere to be seen.

Afraid he’d attract the dead Felix dared not to shout, instead he tried to move back towards the forest where he knew Jack would have headed to, and he strained his eyes in search for any signs that would indicate where his boyfriend would have turned.  
  
A few yards in Felix's eyes caught sight of something next to a tree, something familiar and vibrant with colour, and a huge amount of relief hit him when he had realized it was Jack's jacket. He’d recognize that horrible present he’d gotten his boyfriend on his 27th birthday anywhere.

He set for a quick sprint towards the tree, his lungs screaming at him to stop for air but he simply refused to stop. He just cared about Jack and the fact that he was okay. Alive and okay.

When he was close enough to see that there was no Jack present, only the jacket stuck to a branch from the tree, he felt a wave of panic hit him so hard he became almost nauseous.  
  
He slowed his running, tried to catch his heaving breathes, and took small uncertain steps towards the old oak where the blue cloth waved with the wind. Now he was close enough to see that the jacket wasn’t just vibrant blue anymore, but also a sickening shade of red. Red. Blood.  
  
Blood.  
  
It stained the whole jacket, covering the majority of the left arm with a horrid colour of absolute red. Dried blood turning darker, almost brown, and Felix stood frozen in horror, his heart sinking and his limbs feeling numb.  
  
“Jack?” He rasped out, eyes glued to the bloodstained jacket, his heart beating faster in his throat and his breathing become heavy again. He was going to vomit. “Jack!” He shouts then, his voice sounding pained and scared, which he was, and for once he hadn't care about the roaming zombies a few meters away as he continued to scream for his boyfriend.  
  
Where was Jack? Why was his jacket covered in blood? Why couldn’t he find him? Where was he?

“ _Seán!?”_  
  
-x-  
  
He had searched that area for weeks to try to find Jack -simply refusing to believe that he was dead or having been turned to one of the walking dead- but eventually he had to move on, unable to stay there as more of the dead showed up each day to haunt him.

Felix decided to stay rational and not panic any more than necessary, figuring he’d stick to the plan they’d made and head towards the last evacuation station they’d heard of. He was hoping that Jack was doing the same.  
  
Week passed, week that turned to months, and in that amount of time Felix had begun to question whether he truly deserved to hope to find Jack again considering that he’d given up on searching for him in the forest.

He had been searching. He had been doing nothing but to search for him, and he was restless and scared, alone and so fucking desperate. He was desperate for his boyfriend, for his best friend, for his Seán, and yet he was afraid to find him. Or rather, he was afraid to know. He still had no clue what so ever if Jack still was alive or not, and if Felix dared to say it, he found a sense of comfort in not knowing.

Not knowing meant that Jack could be alive and not one of the corpses. He could be alive still, searching for Felix and heading for the safe house. Those thoughts were what kept Felix on his feet and fueled his resolves into finding the city.

-x-  
  
It took him several weeks to travel to the town. By now winter had completely devoured the land with its bed of white and he was dressed in an over sized jacket he'd find on one of the bodies that had littered the road. It smelled pretty badly, and if Jack would've been there he surely would have complained about it, but it was the warmest and most comfortable piece of clothing that he'd come across and he'd rather wear it and smell like ass than die of hypothermia.

He carefully approached an old school building that the 'safe haven' had been set up in.

Funny, he specifically remembers being grateful and genuinely happy to have finished school and thinking he would’ve have to ever return to it. He’d even described school as a living hell in one of his videos, and now he was seeking refuge in one.

Life sure is full of surprises, he mused.

He armed himself with the bow he’d crafted, bracing for whatever threat there could be as the doors to the school slowly opened. There was a man standing at the entrance, a _very alive_ human, the first Felix has come across since forever, and he takes in the older male’s appearance.

His hair is grey, body looking frail and thin, his tie and fancy black suit with matching pants made Felix want to laugh -the man seems so out of place here in this shitty reality with his flashy dress up -but he doesn’t, just bit his tongue down and instead slowly lowers his bow, allowing the man to usher him inside to check him over for bites or signs of the illness.

He is sat quietly, only speaking when questioned, and when they were finished he rasped out to ask if they had seen anyone that looked similar to Jack, his voice hopeful and eager.

When all he received was looks of pity and heads shaking, he could feel that small bit of hope he’d kept alive slowly dissolving into nothingness.

He was feeling nauseous again.

“We get more people through here than you’d think,” The man, who’d introduced himself as Kurt, reassure Felix, a gentle hand being placed on his shoulder. “It’s possible he came through and we simply don’t remember. Have a look around the stadium, won’t you? And please make yourself presence at the welcoming committee tonight. I and the other counselors would like to welcome you and some other people who recently joined us.”

Felix looked up to see a kind smile, and he can’t help but pity the man for some apparent reason.

Maybe it’s the fact that the man is smiling so vividly, so innocently and with such warmth that Felix hadn't seen in so long. He wonders briefly what this old man has been going through, what he had to do to get here, or if he was here since the beginning.

In the end he decided that it’s none of his business, and he nods curtly before he proceeds to walk out towards the stadium and to the back of the school.

He clutches his bag, his chest tightening with anticipation and he prays to whatever god there still is that Jack would be inside that stadium. His bag was slung over his shoulder as he stomped down the stairs and out of the main school building, following the instructions to go through the screening process, one last check to make sure he was free of the virus. Then he was handed a bedroll, a tent, some water, and food and told to find a place to set up his stuff.

He thanked them before he proceeded to make his way down to the mass of people. He scanned the massive crowd, suddenly feeling claustrophobic and horribly out of place. It had been months since he'd been around just one person, and now all of a sudden there were seemingly hundredths of them surrounding him.

He stood still for a moment, knowing that he couldn’t set his stuff up and sit down, not yet, not until he had walked the entire property and searched for Jack. And that was what he started to do, feet scuffing softly on the grass as he walked, gaze scanning tiredly over the unfamiliar faces. That ball of dread was reforming in his stomach, the one that was telling him that Jack was dead -that he hadn’t escaped that day and that Felix had abandoned him, lead him to his death and promised fate.-

It felt like hours that Felix walked through the stadium, weaving carefully between the people who were sitting on the floor.

And then he saw him.

Jack's hair was a matted and tangled mass of grey-green-ish strands,— the same hair, last Felix remembers, had been fairly shorter but had now grown long and been carelessly put up in a ponytail— and his body was hunched over on his bedroll as he sat there with a magazine which Felix recognized to be a copy of the early series of the Teenage mutant ninja turtles .  
  
Despite his state of disarray, he was the most beautiful person Felix has laid his eyes on ever since he stepped foot into this place.

Felix opened his mouth to speak, not finding it much surprising when there was no sound to be heard. He couldn’t seem to do anything but stare at Jack in amazement, thinking that this was all a cruel dream that he would wake up from in any second, a heartbreaking nightmare he’d experienced far more times than just once on his journey.

His arm fell limply at his side, causing his bag to fall from his shoulder and hit the ground with a thud.

Jack looked up at the sound, his old copy of TMNT now forgotten as his blue eyes -still so wonderfully blue- widened once they locked with Felix's own.

They just stared at each other for a heartbeat before Jack stood slowly, eyes not leaving Felix's as he walked carefully with short and hesitant steps towards the other.

“You’re—“ Jack couldn’t even finish the sentence, his voice being wavering and quiet, hesitant, as if he was afraid that Felix would disappear if he talked any louder.

His hands shook uncontrollably as he reaching up to gently cup Felix's cheek. His hands, Felix thought, was cold yet something of the most pleasant things he’d experienced after so long of being alone -so comforting and so _right_ that Felix couldn't stop a shiver passing through him- and then he surged forward, throwing his arms around Jack tightly, so tightly, and Felix finally felt complete again. Like he'd lost a piece of himself and finally found it again. He found him.

_He found him._

Jacks arms came up in return to hold Felix close, his entire frame shaking as he pulled him closer against his chest. They ended up sinking to the ground, the grip they had on each other never wavering as they both cried their hearts out.  
  
“Alive—you’re a-alive. Thank god, oh thank god, Jack, you’re alive.” Felix cried, his head coming to rest at the familiar crook of Jacks neck. “I’m so sorry. Please, I’m so—so sorry, Jack- Seán, my Seán, I’m so sorry, fuck I'm so sorry-”  
  
It seemed like ages had passed before they broke apart, Felix pressing breathless and desperate kisses to Jack's lips, mumbling quiets ‘I’m sorry’s’ and ‘I love you’s’ to his lovers lips before Jack pressed their foreheads together, wiping his cheeks with a sniffle as he smiles softly at a familiar shade of warm, deep blue.

Blue, so wonderfully blue and _alive._

“If you ever say we should split up again, I swear to everything holy that I’m going to murder you,” Jack said with a breathless laugh, nuzzling Felixs nose with his own in an Eskimo kiss.

Felix could only laugh and kiss him again.

 


End file.
